Nothing or Something?

I was born into this world as nothing more than bonded cells that mutated and developed into a mammalian form. That is the base level science of it, but science can be a little cold sometimes and lacking in spirituality. Please note I said spirituality and not religion, there is a big difference! Some would call me son, grandson, brother and eventually friend, boyfriend, fiance and one day husband, uncle and if by some magnificent change of heart, will and fate – father. Though this last one is by far the least likely.

My experiences throughout my life shaped me into who I am now. I have had my share of bad experiences and fortunately plenty of great ones also. I make choices and decisions everyday. When I was a child I lacked the capability to fully understand many things and so I would make many mistakes. As I grew older and started questioning everything, I started to understand my choices a little better. Now I am grateful that I have the ability to understand many facets and variables, good and bad, about the decisions that I make. I can choose to act rashly or mindlessly and I can choose to act logically and thoughtfully. Whether I am considered by some to be a good man or not because of these decisions is not for me to decide, but I am and we are all nothing – if we choose to be. Or we can be something.

It both sickens me and brings me joy to see how we as people, unified under the definition of a single species yet never more divided, spend our time on this earth. We have the potential for great love and powerful hate, for bringing joyful laughter and devastating terror, for feeling empathy and understanding and for being apathetic and ignorant.

A few kind words, the simple act of listening and understanding, to think with your own mind rather than to be swayed by the opinions of others, to be something for someone when they need it most. I believe we all choose what we want to become, whether we let our mistakes decide what we will be or to learn from our experiences or maybe both; I would rather be open minded, learn as much as I can and appreciate every single day for what it is. I will despise ignorance and fearmongers , I will choose to understand why rather than to judge, I will choose to live life on my terms than by the decree of another and I will choose compassion rather than to hate needlessly. I will endeavour to appreciate something for what it is rather than what I or anybody else thinks it should be.

Ultimately I write this because as I enter the next decade of my life (I am turning 30), I have realised gradually these last years that I want to strive to be someone more than I am. I am not content with simply existing, I want to make my existence and the lives of those I cherish truly better. Sometimes I may fail, but I hope when my final days are upon me that I can look back at my life with few regrets and a bloody great smile. I want to at least be able to say that I tried.

I was nothing once but I have made the choice to try to be something more than I currently am, and that is a decision I can already be proud of.

Forged From Reverie.

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