Bloody Grammar!

This is going to be bit of an odd rant now, so please bear with me guys.

As a writer, and in most aspects of my life, I am a bit of a perfectionist. My game and film/TV collections MUST be sorted into alphabetical order. My clothes MUST be folded in a particular manner before being put away. My dog’s paws MUST be wiped thoroughly before he is allowed to move further into the house than the kitchen after coming in from outside, because dirt! My beard MUST contain between 12,242 and 12,297 hairs or my genitals will try to escape in the night as I sleep. Some might say that I have a mild case of obsessive compulsive disorder, a term that I believe does not necessarily apply to me for the most part but I can understand why other people may think so. Anyway this is a discussion for another time.

The point is I consider myself to be fairly meticulous for the most part, it is an attribute I take pride in and it helps to be perceptive when I am at work. I’d say it helps to be perceptive at all times really, those pesky walls and doors aren’t going to walk into themselves are they my dear? (A little note for the Mrs.) This is a quality I also like to bring to my writing. When I have finished writing a message, post, article, list of assassination targets or otherwise, I tend to re-read it until I am satisfied that I would be happy being the one to read it if I were the recipient. So when I have read something over a few times to the point that I know it has zero spelling errors, I tend to huff a mild puff as I see that this site seems to think otherwise.

I am English, so I speak and write in English. So when I am writing words such as armour, honourable, defence, grey (even now this bastard is trying to tell me I am wrong!) or realise, apparently this is considered a violation of the language so terrible that my words must be smeared below with the red colour (with a u!) of the blood of fallen adjectives, nouns and syllables. Oh woe to the Gods of Grammar that they have forsaken me in my time of read (instead of need, get it? Pfft, anyway.)

Don’t get me wrong though, I am not trying to stir up an ancient feud based on a war of grammatical differences. American English is, and has been, different to our English for a long time and I have no problem with a little variety in linguistics terminology. My problem is simply that this bugger is trying to besmirch my good work by telling me I am spelling my words incorrectly. And I am not. I suppose it is a small price to pay for the use of a website based in the US, and one that I am thoroughly chuffed with to be honest. Just stop telling me to spell tyre with an ‘i’ you numpty!

Oh, and I am aware that it is possible to change the language source to a more localised version, but that involves messing with something that I do not yet feel comfortable doing. So……..sod that right off!

Well I am off to drop a biscuit in my brew (writing this post is making me feel very English at the moment) and put my feet up. And in case it hasn’t come across in such a way, there was a severe level of sarcasm inherent in writing this.

Enjoy your tea folks and take care.

Forged From Reverie.

UPDATE (8/3/17) – Reading this old post of mine has made me laugh a bit, especially now that I have long since tended to the problem of battling against this minor issue. Although it is still telling me that I have misspelled numpty!

Please, tell me what you think.

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